


The Attempt

by ahunmaster



Series: Viking AU [12]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Vikings, Angst, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Het, Human, Past Miscarriage, Past Violence, Suicide Attempt, Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Vikings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 22:22:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6168895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahunmaster/pseuds/ahunmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eclipse's mind is becomes too fragile to handle reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Attempt

Eclipse was fine.  She was fine.  She was okay here in her hut by herself.  Megatron had left to go speak to Rodimus about some small matter.  He would be back soon.  
  
But she wasn't fine.  She was tired.  She was lonely.  She needed to get out of the house.  She wasn't that tired.  
  
She could go to the market.  But it was too crowded there.  Maybe she wasn't lonely.  Maybe she just needed to get some time away.  
  
Yes, that sounded good.  But what would be the best place-?  
  
Oh yes, the lake.  She could take a nice walk there.

* * *

Rodimus sighed.  Bloody hell, he was only trying to be honest.  Well that and maybe not really break the news that some of the meat they had stored before hadn't been properly salted.  Megatron had nearly strangled him, asking him if he was trying to kill them all or something.  Like hell he would do that!  It was just an honest mistake, that's all!  
  
"You should have let me tell Megatron."  
  
"Sigh~ Magnus, it would have taken you the whole night to even get around to the subject."  
  
"As opposed to you lying through your teeth up front about the meat?"  
  
"Well... yeah, maybe I shouldn't have tried to say the dogs had gotten to it-"  
  
"Especially since the only dog who survived Nemesis's attack is Sunstreaker's; not to mention it's slow on his feet and is completely incapable of sneaking by anyone without stopping to ask for a belly rub."  
  
"... Next time, I'll leave the lying to Drift."  
  
"He would have only started a fight and then we would have more problems then we already have," the older Viking sighed as he followed his young leader through the mixed camp area, "Which you are well aware of."  
  
Rodimus grumbled to himself as he weaved his way through the crowds.  Fuck, this was too much to worry about.  First the stomach sickness going through their camp, then the meat, and now having to be disciplined by Optimus after nearly getting his ass kicked by Megatron.  Damn it, maybe he should have told them both tomorrow or something.  
  
"I need to get away."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I need some air.  I'm going to the lake."  
  
"Rodimus-"  
  
"I'm not going to run away again... I just need some time to think.  You can go back to your hut if you want-"  
  
"I will accompany you."  
  
Rodimus grimaced, his face contorting into a childish look of disgust.  "Oh come on, I don't need to be babysat.  I'm sure your friend at home is lonely by herself."  
  
"Charlotte is a grown woman and she understands that I have a duty to my leader first.  She will understand if I come back later than usual."  
  
"You sure? I'm sure she misses seeing you around."   
  
"Rodimus," he said, much more sternly. He knew the other was trying to push him away. And while he could understand the other wanted to be alone, it was unwise for the young leader to by himself. Especially since what he tried to do the last time.    
  
Rodimus looked away. Ultra was not about to leave him be.  So much for that...  
  
"Fine.  I'm heading to the lake."  
  
Ultra Magnus shook his head.  He didn't need to be told.  He only had to follow after the grumpy young man.

* * *

"You know, if you keep scaring everyone like this, Optimus will think you're on your way to kill him."  
  
"Shut up, Bombrush."  
  
"I must agree with him, Leader.  This is not the best option to take at this time-"  
  
"I am not dealing with or cleaning up the mess of Optimus's fan boy, so I'm going to make him take care of it!"  
  
The other two sighed.  This wasn't turning out to be a good night.  Their clansmen hadn't been having the best of luck lately hunting wise and with Rodimus trying to hold out on the fact that their food storage was smaller than they thought... Well, Primus have mercy on anyone who got in Megatron's way.  
  
"Leader, please," Bombrush had to hold in a groan as Shockwave spoke.  Would it kill the other to just address Megatron by his name?  "Trying to deal with this problem as you are will only make things worse.  You should stop and get your temper under control."  
  
"Or at least direct it at something that won't end up with everyone drawing their swords at each other."  
  
Megatron did just that as he threw his arm out, knocking over a pile of firewood next to some startled bystanders.  
  
"Well, at least you didn't punch anyone out."  
  
"Leader, you need to get yourself under control.  We cannot afford to strain the truce we have any further."  
  
“Rodimus has done a damn fine job at doing that!” Another pile was knocked over in the man’s march to the other camp.  
  
“Megatron!  Damn it, you can’t afford to start a fight over something as stupid as this!” Bombrush finally had enough, running up to grab the other man by the shoulder.  
  
“Stupid? _Stupid?!_ That damned idiot let our meat spoil! We hardly have enough for all three clans to begin with and now because of his fucking negligence, we've lost a good amount of it!"  
  
"That doesn't give you the right to act like some psychopath and storm through another village to throw your bitch fit! We're trying to stabilize an alliance, not make it worse!"  
  
Megatron snarled and shoved the other off of him. Damn that Rodimus... That brat was young and inexperienced - it amazed Megatron that the fool and his clan had even survived the attack Nemesis had made. He tried to be a leader and sometimes, he would be... okay. Of course, when he made stupid fuck ups like this, it made Megatron want to rip his head off. Why he was in charge and not Ultra Magnus - though he couldn't stand that stiff either - was beyond him.   
  
"Leader, perhaps you should return to your hut for the time being. Have Eclipse make you something to drink to relax yourself with."   
  
Megatron's expression and stance immediately softened a bit at the mention of his wife's name. Bombrush let out a silent relieved huff. Right... Eclipse. The mentioning of that girl's name was enough to get their stubborn leader to relax. At least enough to wear he wasn't ready to draw his sword and murder someone.   
  
Especially nowadays. Because of everything that had happened to her... Megatron didn't like being away from her for too long. Not to mention he didn't want to be in a foul mood around her and make her spirits worse. While she seemed fine, there had been a change in Eclipse. She was much quieter, much more docile and absent-minded.  
  
Truth to told, it worried Bombrush and some of the other men Megatron was close to. Though their worries didn't compare to Megatron's, they were still concerned. Eclipse always looked... so sad sometimes that it was almost painful to look at her. Though she seemed to brighten up a little whenever she was with her husband, and that was relieving.  
  
"... Perhaps you're right, Shockwave."  
  
Both Bombrush and Shockwave let out a relieved breath. Well, if they couldn't make the man see reason, they could at least make him see Eclipse... The next best thing, especially right now. And as Megatron headed down the path back towards his hut, Bombrush and Shockwave followed suit. Maybe now they could actually talk to their leader about what to do without being yelled at.

* * *

Eclipse was better now.  The cool air was nice.  She just needed a nice walk.  And then she would go back to her hut and wait for Megatron to come back.  Maybe she could make him some tea.  She wished she could make hot cider like she used to.  
  
But she couldn't anymore.  They didn't have apples anymore.  They didn't have much.  They were too busy trying to ensure three broken and displaced clans could survive the winter and then kill the ones who had done this to them.  
  
Eclipse sighed as she stepped out of the forest onto the rocky terrain by the lake.  She didn't want Megatron to fight that... man again.  He almost... He almost died fighting him before.  
  
She flinched when her foot stepped into the cold water.  Blinking, she backed away from the water.  It was very cold.  
  
Pulling the fur wrap she had with her tighter around her, she set off to walk along the rocky edge of the lake.  She didn't want to think about the sad things.  She just wanted to not feel lonely anymore.  
  
Without another glance back, she slowly walked further and further away from the camp.

* * *

"Fuck Megatron!  Fuck Nemesis!  Fuck old Primus up his goddamn-!" Rodimus didn't finish his sentence as he threw the last stone in his hand into the lake.  The moon's reflection rippled on as the young leader kept throwing his frustration about everything in his life onto it.  The lake took it all in.  
  
"If cursing could change anything, you'd make the world a much better place, Rodimus."  
  
"Shut up, I'm venting out my frustrations."  
  
"By destroying the natural habitat of our current residence?"  
  
Rodimus dropped the rocks in his hand as he growled, Ultra Magnus thought, he wasn't sure what that sound was.  But as his hands cringed they finally shot up to his head as he started cursing to himself again.  
  
"The fish do not appreciate rocks being dropped on top of their heads."  
  
"I KNOW!  PRIMUS, I JUST-!" the young man kicked at the ground, splattering rocks everywhere before his body finally sagged and he sat down on the wet rocky ground.  
  
A minute passed before Ultra Magnus finally spoke.  "Feeling better now?"  
  
"... Yeah..." the young man looked to his older comrade, who was sitting on an old tree stump watching him, "Yeah... I'm feeling... better."  
  
"You were pretty tensed up before..."  
  
"Fuck... Seriously, did old Megatron really have to fly off the handle like that?  Primus, I thought he was just gonna throw down his weapons and strangle me, truce be damned."  
  
"We did have to waste a few storage houses full of meat, so he had good reason to be upset."  
  
"I know, but..." Rodimus sighed again before his legs curled up to hide his face, "We didn't have enough salt to cure them all.  I-I thought maybe the brine salt could help keep them good until we could get more salt."  
  
"You could have told them we didn't have the means to properly preserve them with what we had."  
  
"And what?  Have them use their salt supply?  It was our meat, our responsibility."  
  
"Rodimus," the older man wanted to get up and go to comfort the other, but he knew the young man wouldn't want it.  He was the one who wanted to lead his own clan.  He was the one who didn't want help, even if he sometimes did come out and say they did.  He had wanted to be a great leader like Optimus had.  And he also didn't want to be in the other's shadow.  He wanted to make his own mark without his idol's help.  
  
"I know, I know.  The meat is for all three clans because we all need to survive if we want to defeat Nemesis once spring comes.  We must all work together-"  
  
"-To ensure our futures."  
  
"I get it.  I know I fucked up... I just..."  
  
"You are a good leader Rodimus."  
  
"Sometimes it feels like I'm not."  
  
"Even Optimus-"  
  
"No, I don't need that lecture again!" Rodimus stood up and began walking away from the other.  
  
"You also need to understand that not everything is going to go as planned," Ultra Magnus stood up to follow him, "Bad things happen.  You can't see them coming all the time and sometimes you just have to let them knock you down."  
  
"Yes, yes, I know that!" The young man shook his head before he turned back to look in front.  Then he suddenly stopped.  
  
"...Rodimus?"  
  
His leader's hand slowly came up to point at something in front of them.  "Hey... isn't that old buckethead's girl?"  
  
Ultra Magnus looked up before his own eyes widened.  
  
On the same side of the lake as them was a woman.  It was an odd sight, like she wasn't supposed to be there.  But she was... Megatron's wife was walking along the lake's edge with little other than her clothes and a fur wrap.  Why was she out here?  And why was she alone?  Megatron wasn't one to let her out here alone without a guard or two.  
  
"What the heck is she doing out here?  Geez, I hope the old fucker didn't make her walk out because of me."  
  
"For once, could you stop revolving everything around you?" Ultra Magnus walked ahead of the other to get a closer look at the woman.  She was walking towards them, but didn't seem to notice them.  
  
Even though he knew Eclipse wasn't a fighter, Magnus still had to resist bringing his hand down to his sword.  Something was wrong here.  Why was she out here alone?  Why was she coming towards them?  And why didn't she seem to be aware of anything around her?  
  
It was as if she were an apparition... a sad, soulless ghost wandering by...  
  
"Magnus, damn it, stop reaching for your sword," Rodimus came up to grab the other's hand, "She's probably just out getting some air or me time.  Let's just give her some space..."  
  
Magnus didn't feel right agreeing with his leader, but the younger man was smarter than he seemed.  He knew very well what had happened between Megatron, his wife, and Nemesis.  And he had been very careful to never do anything stupid involving her when it came to Megatron.  
  
And with some urging, he turned back with his leader to walk away from the lonely woman.

* * *

"What do you mean you two didn't see her leave?"  
  
The two young warriors flinched under Bombrush's glare.  They had no idea how lucky they were that it was him that was chewing them out rather then their leader.  
  
Said leader was now tearing up everything in and around his hut trying to find his missing wife.  A small crowd was starting to gather as their leader turned over every surface screaming out his wife's name.  
  
"Eclipse!  Eclipse?!  Where are you?!"  
  
"Well?  How did you two miss seeing our leader's wife leave the hut?"  
  
"I-I-I don't know!  W-We didn't see her leave!"  
  
"Are you saying she just disappeared into thin air?"  Bombrush was a mix of extreme emotions, fear and annoyance at the front as he looked to the side to see Shockwave talking to the villagers.  This wasn't the time to save face, not with Eclipse missing!  
  
"M-Maybe she slipped off to the market when we weren't looking?"  
  
A loud crash came from behind him as what he could only imagine a stock pile of wood and other goods were thrown over.  Primus, they needed to find her soon before Megatron tore through the whole encampment.  
  
"You two had one simple job.  Keep an eye on Eclipse and that meant going with her if she left the hut!" he yelled at the two, "How do you fuck it up when there are two of you standing guard?!"  
  
"I... Umm..."  
  
"S-She may have-"  
  
"May have what?" Bombrush turned to the one stockier boy who spoke up.  
  
"I-I d-did leave... for a b-bit."  
  
"You... left your post?"  
  
"I-I had to t-take a piss and I-I-I couldn't..." his words failed him as he turned to his taller companion.  
  
"I... I might have..." the other looked ready to piss his own pants, "I maybe... looked away-"  
  
"Looked away?!" Bombrush was caught off guard as Megatron suddenly stormed past him to turn on the young man, grabbing him by the collar and holding him up, "What.  THE FUCK?! Was so damn important that you took your eyes off my wife?!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was distracted-!"  
  
"BY WHAT?!"  
  
"A-A-A... One of our clanswomen- I’m sorry, I was tired and I had been here all day and I shouldn't- Please don't kill me, please don't kill me Lead-"  
  
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Megatron lifted the kid up further, causing the young man to gasp for breath.  
  
"Megatron!" Bombrush rushed forward to grab his friend's arm.  
  
"Someone thinks she may have headed to the lake."  
  
All eyes turned to the stoic warrior as he approached them, cool as ever.  
  
"What... did you just say?" Megatron asked in a low, dark voice.  Primus, Bombrush couldn't remember the leader ever talking like that to any of his warriors.  
  
"One of our clansmen, an older, retired warrior, thinks he may have seen Eclipse heading to the lake."  
  
"The lake?" now Bombrush was confused.  Why would she head there?  
  
"He says he only had a glimpse of her and isn't sure if it was her or another clanswoman who looked like her-"  
  
That was all Megatron needed to hear.  Dropping the young warrior, he turned on foot and stormed past his ransacked hut in the direction of the lake.  
  
Bombrush and Shockwave quickly followed after him.  A bad atmosphere was overhead and it didn't look good for either Megatron or Eclipse.

* * *

Eclipse was still slowly walking by the lake. She didn't know why, but it was so peaceful over here. Such gentle water, a cold breeze and rustling of the trees and bushes around the area... It was just so sweet and nice. And it was even better during the summer.  
  
Summer. Her baby would have been born in the summer, or at least late spring. And she would have taken him to the lake to bathe him, to sit with him and hold him... But she wouldn't be able to do that anymore. She wasn't going to have a baby. Her womb was empty now and she would not be giving birth like she had planned.  
  
She suddenly felt tears in her eyes. No... No...! She didn't want to cry anymore! She didn't want to be like this anymore! But she couldn't stop herself from falling to her knees, burying her face into her hands as she started to sob. Her baby, Megatron's baby, their child... Dead. Gone. Because she had failed to protect them. She had allowed them to die inside of her, had robbed them of being born, never being able to hold them or smile at them or just simply touch them...  
  
Her stomach started to hurt, making her grab at her belly. Why...? Why did Primus have to take her baby away? Why did he rob her of her child?! She would have loved them with all of her heart, her soul, her being... She wouldn't have let anything happen to them... And yet...  
  
Was she not worthy enough? Was she unfit to have a child? Or... just unfit to have Megatron's child? Was that it? Was she just not worthy enough to bear Megatron's children? Even though that was all she wanted to do... Birth him many strong heirs, give him the sons and daughters he had wanted...  
  
 _“…Mama...”_  
  
Eclipse opened her eyes.  She could only see the ground below her.  What had she-?  
  
 _"...Ma-Mama! ”_  
  
She looked up.  And then she couldn't stop the tears from falling.  Not that she noticed she was crying...  
  
Wait... there they were.  There was her baby.  Why were they playing over there?  
  
Eclipse didn't care.  Her baby was alive.  They were right there, giggling and laughing.  They were alive.  
  
"Oh... my baby..."  
  
 _"...Mama!”_  
  
"Yes, come to Mama."  
  
 _"Mama!”_  
  
"Come here."  
  
But her little baby would only keep calling out to her.  Why wouldn't-?  
  
Oh... of course.  Her little baby probably couldn't crawl yet.  They were so small and precious.  They couldn't stay out here, they would catch a cold.  
  
"There, there.  Mama's coming."  
  
 _“Mama!  Mama!”_  
  
Eclipse didn't notice the water when she stepped into it.  Nor when she stepped deeper into the icy lake.

* * *

"She's really starting to freak me out."  
  
"Perhaps we should alert someone?"  
  
"What did I say before?  She probably needs time to herself for... this," Rodimus didn't even hide the fact as he waved in the direction of the collapsed and crying woman still a good distance behind them, "And besides, buckethead wouldn't leave her completely unattended.  He probably has one of his loyal lapdogs watching her from a distance in case she needs help to walk or..."  
  
Ultra Magnus did not approve of the other's behavior.  "Megatron's wife has been through a lot.  That is no way to talk about her."  
  
"Hey, I'd get tired of everyone pitying my sorry ass well after the fact!"  
  
"This isn't about you!"  
  
"Well, sorry I'm not Optimus who pities every poor soul he comes across.  I'm sorry I can't feel sorry for the poor woman all the time.  Yes, I did feel sorry for her losing her child to that madman, but there's nothing anyone can do about it."  
  
Ultra Magnus stepped in front of him to prevent him from walking away, "If this is how you treat everything you don't enjoy dealing with, then its no wonder why people think you're an ineffective leader."  
  
Rodimus looked ready to slap the man.  "You think I don't know that?  What the fuck am I supposed to do?  Mope around with everyone and do nothing?  Magnus, we're in a crisis here.  We've all lost our homes, we've lost friends, loved ones... I can barely deal with all that when we're planning for a battle next spring!  How am I supposed to be able to sympathize with people when I've never felt the loss of a child?  Or a loved one?  What am I supposed to do?"  
  
Ultra Magnus sighed.  He didn't say anything as he watched the young and tempered man stare at him.  Then he finally spoke.  
  
"Rodimus... The reason why you have no idea what to do is because you continuously make yourself the victim. In any situation. You're too focused on how you feel... Even Megatron shows more concern over his followers than you do and that is why both he and Optimus are better leaders than you. And if you fail to see and understand that, then there is nothing I can to help you."   
  
"I-!  I don't..." The young leader had nothing left to say.  He didn't want to accept Magnus's words as truth.  He did care about others.  He wasn't selfish.  He wasn't all about himself.  He-  
  
"Perhaps we should go back," The older Viking could see the other was getting stressed out over everything.  And tonight wasn't the best of nights to try and confront Rodimus on his not-leader-type personality quirks, "You've had a long evening and we will most likely be hearing from Optimus tomorrow about the situation."  
  
Rodimus sighed, letting his arms drop.  He wished he didn't have to go back and face the consequences of all that.  But there was no way anyone, including Ultra Magnus, would let him run away from this again.  
  
"Yeah... yeah, that sounds good.  Wonder if we have enough mulled wine for a small nightcap?"  
  
"I don't think a hangover will be-"  
  
SPLASH  
  
Bothe men suddenly turned to the sound.  Their first thought was that maybe Eclipse was having a moment.  In these horrible conditions, many people had lashed out.  Some at others (and quickly taken care of), at supplies, and even at nature.  So their first thoughts were that she maybe have been throwing stones or kicking at the lake.  
  
They were not expecting the woman to be thigh deep into the water and still walking further into it.  
  
"Uh, that's not normal, right?"  
  
Rodimus didn't get an answer nor did he need one.  Both men just bolted.  
  
"Miss Eclipse?  Miss Eclipse?!"  
  
"Eclipse?!  What the hell are you doing?!"  
  
Both men were at the shore just behind her, but their words did nothing.  Eclipse was in another world at that point, still walking into the water and now entering chest high water.  
  
"Shit!  What the hell?"  
  
"Miss Eclipse?  Please come back!  Come out of the water!"  
  
"Oh yeah, she'll just snap out of it and walk on back to us, that'll work."  
  
"Miss Eclipse?!  Miss- What are you doing?"  
  
Rodimus turned back to him as he threw off his fur and sword and started heading into the water, "What do you think?  I'm getting her out of there before she drowns!"  
  
"You're still in your armor!"  
  
"Well, I don't have time to undress to my skivvies, do I?"  
  
"You'll sink!" Ultra Magnus tried to step in, but the risk was too great.  Especially with Rodimus moving further into the water to the unresponsive Eclipse who was now nearly up to her shoulders in the lake, "You'll both sink to the bottom!"  
  
"So you can stand there like an idiot and watch us drown, hold my hand to pull me back up and not fall in yourself, or go get help!"  
  
"But you-"  
  
"I'll be fine!  I’ll just-" he shivered as the cold water seeped through his armor to get to his legs and lower body, "I’ll try to keep her head over water!"  
  
Ultra Magnus wanted to say something.  Wanted to chide the young man.  Wanted to tell him all the ways this was wrong and stupid and not something any good leader would do-  
  
But Rodimus was right.  They had no time to think, only act.  
  
So despite every instinct telling him not to, he turned and left his leader in the water with Eclipse, hoping to find someone quickly.  
  
Or else they would be pulling two dead bodies out of the water.

* * *

"Megatron, slow down!  You'll end up rolling into the lake at this rate!"  
  
"Leader, you must slow down.  You cannot move as quickly in your armor.  Please slow down."  
  
The Viking leader didn't care or even listen to his comrades' concerns.  His wife was missing and he had no idea what was happening to her or why she was out here.  He didn't care if he had to slide down the rest of the hill to get to the lake, he just wanted to get there quickly and find Eclipse!  
  
To say he was worried about her was an understatement.  No, he worried over his wife when they had little herbs and he hoped she wouldn't have too much trouble cooking dinner with what they had before that event.  Now... even leaving her for a moment frightened him.  Ever since Nemesis attacked, the underlying fear of coming back to find his wife hurt again, or worse, was a dark cloud that hung over him.  After the attack and the first week or so of his recovery, he had never let her out of sight for even a moment.  And once he had been able to go back to take over his position as leader, he never left her defenseless.  Always two or more guards near her to keep her safe or company.  
  
She was alone.  She was out there alone with no one to protect her.  Megatron was trying not to think of what could possibly be happening to her at this moment.  Was she upset?  Afraid?  Was she lost or under distress?  Had a wild animal surprised her?  Or another human?  Or worse, Nemesis again?  
  
"Calm down, for the love of Primus, you won't do yourself good if you twist your ankle on the way down!" Bombrush, also in his armor, was straggling a bit behind trying to not do the same as he had mentioned.  
  
"Leader, Bombrush speaks well.  Eclipse would not be happy if you were to hurt yourself trying to find her."  
  
Megatron was about to ignore them again when Shockwave's hand rested on his arm, causing the man to halter and stop.  He turned to see the other behind him, Bombrush heaving as he turned around the last turn to catch up.  
  
Shockwave, who was in lighter armor that was built for swiftness, wasn't as out of breath as the other two.  "Leader, please do not do anything too rash.  Eclipse may have simple wished for some time to herself.  She has been through a lot and you haven't left her alone ever since the attack."  
  
"I'm-"  
  
"-Only making sure she's safe, we know," Bombrush finally joined them as he heaved.  He was older than Megatron and not on as much of an adrenaline rush, so he was bending over trying to get some air, "But we're never going to find her if you end up breaking your ankle frantically looking around for her."   
  
"I don't care-"  
  
Rustling broke the impending argument as they turned around, Megatron and Shockwave grabbing their swords while Bombrush stood up to reach for his...  
  
...Only to be as caught off guard by Ultra Magnus who also was not expecting them as he clumsily attempted to climb up the hill.  
  
"Megatron?"  
  
"Magnus?" Bombrush asked, the first of the trio to compose a response, "What are-?"  
  
"Come with me!"  
  
"What-"  
  
"You need to come with me! It's Miss Eclipse, she-"  
  
"NNNOOOO!!!"  
  
Ultra Magnus didn't need to explain what was going on.  The scream was enough to tell the other three men that something horrible was about to happen.  
  
"NNNOOO!  LET ME GO!! LET ME GO!  MY BABY!"  
  
"What the fu-?"  
  
Bombrush didn't even finish his sentence when Megatron suddenly bolted, nearly knocking over Shockwave and Ultra Magnus as he ran full sprint down the hill, completely going off the beaten path in what could only be the fastest possible route to his wife.  
  
"Shit, Megatron!"  
  
"MY BABY! MY BABY!"  
  
There was no time to think.  It was just up to instinct and adrenaline now as the three ran after the leader, who was nearly out of sight as he kept running in the direction of his hysterical wife.

* * *

"MY BABY! NOO!"  
  
"Primus, woman, I don't need this kind of horseshit while I'm in the middle of saving you!"  
  
"LET ME GO!  LET ME GO!"  
  
"Stop yelling in my ear!"  
  
And of course, the lady in distress he was trying to save wasn't being very cooperative with her rescuer.  Rodimus struggled to try and carry her back to shore, but it only seemed to make the woman more determined to get herself to the bottom of the lake.  She clawed at his armor and arms, even swiping a few times at his face, hitting him harder and harder with each strike as she tried to break his grasp on her.  
  
It was working.  While Rodimus was still refusing to let go despite some cuts on his pretty face, the struggle was causing him to lose footing.  At this point, they had moved from neck deep water to nearly be submerged in it, Rodimus only having a solid rock under one foot to keep them above icy lake water.  
  
"Damn-" he nearly swallowed some water, "I'm trying to-! *cough* Save you!  You're not suppose to be fighting your savior!"  
  
"NNOO!  NO, NO, NO!  LET ME GO! MY BABY!  MY BABY NEEDS ME!"  
  
"Your baby's dead!" he finally shouted, growing more and more frustrated as he realized how much closer they were to drowning. "You can't do anything for it now! It's dead!"   
  
That almost seemed to work.  Eclipse stopped, her face frozen with a blank look. Her eyes wide as she just stared up at Rodimus. And he felt his stomach drop at the sight of her lifeless eyes suddenly come back to life again, only to show him a mess of emotions that he did know human eyes were capable of making.  
  
Realization. Comprehension and shock soon following. Then a frightening wave of horror came over her before slowly dissolving into anguish and dismay. Tears pooled into her eyes as they then started to trickle down her face, a haunting look coming over her. He almost let go, thinking she was a ghost for a moment.  
  
Then, in a soft and broken voice, she whispered, "You're right... My baby... died inside of me. I've already felt it die... I don't have a baby anymore... Do I?"  
  
Rodimus could not think of anything to say. For a moment, he had even forgotten where they were, too wrapped up in horror at the sight of the woman he was holding. This... was beyond his understanding. Her pain, her anguish... He finally realized why he could not fathom.  
  
And how ignorant he had been to think that she was overreacting just a little.  
  
He had seen friends die. He had seen their families mourn. He had mourned himself, his own heart and chest aching at the number of lives lost. He had suffered because from what he had seen.  
  
But Eclipse... She had _felt_ it. Something had died inside of her. She felt it died and bleed down her legs. She had lost what could never be replaced... A child. You could never replace your child.  
  
"... I let it die... I'm not a mother."  
  
He was too got off caught when she suddenly pushed out of his grip and allowed herself to sink into the freezing lake.   
  
"Oh fuck-!" With no thoughts for his own safety, he quickly dove in after her.  
  
And then there was nothing but ripples on top of the water.

* * *

Megatron couldn't remember ever running this fast.  Or his feet hurting so much.  Or his ribs burning as he ran and ran, neglecting the branches breaking against his armor.  
  
Eclipse, Primus, Eclipse... what the hell was happening?  Why was his wife screaming?  Where was she trying to go?  Who was doing this to her?  And why-?  
  
Oh Primus.... oh Primus, why was she calling out?  Why was she calling out to her baby? Their child who had left this world already?  
  
And why had she suddenly stopped yelling?  
  
Fear bubbled in his throat as he saw the clearing ahead of him through the trees of the hill.  Primus, don't let her be hurt.  Please let her be safe.  Please let her be okay.  Please let her be safe.  Please let her be safe.  Please let her-  
  
He broke into the clearing, nearly stumbling on the new foundation as he finally found his voice again.  
  
"ECLIPSE!"  
  
But no one answered back.  
  
He snapped his neck, looking around as he ran around the clearing he had entered.  
  
"ECLIPSE!  ECLIPSE?!"  
  
There was no one here.  Where was she?  Had she been taken away?  He had heard what seemed like a struggle, but there was no sign of it on the clearing he was certain she had to have been in.  Her footprints were there, so she had to be-  
  
His foot hit something hard.  His neck snapped to turn to the object.  
  
It was a sword.  Or rather a sword in its hilt next to a coat of fur, just lying on the lake's edge leading right into...  
  
...the water.  
  
He quickly recognized it.  It was Rodimus's.  He had it with him when he confronted the young leader.  That would explain why Ultra Magnus was here; always watching over the young man so that he wouldn't try to run away from his problems again.  
  
But there was no sign of Rodimus.  Or Eclipse.  Except for the sword almost in the water.  And the sets of footprints leading right... into... the water.  
  
Ultra Magnus, Shockwave, and Bombrush finally emerged in the clearing.  
  
"Megatron!"  
  
"Leader!"  
  
"Rodimus!"  
  
But it quickly dawned on them as the scene finally soaked in.  
  
Megatron's mind was finally piecing together what had happened as his knees hit the ground.  His wife... Oh Primus, she... she had...  
  
"Rodimus!" Ultra Magnus quickly joined his side, nearly running into the water.  
  
The other two joined up behind them, the reality of the situation dawning on them.  
  
"Oh Primus..."  
  
Megatron didn't even hear Bombrush's voice.  His mind was only focused on the rippling water as if slowly began to return to its calm surface.  
  
Eclipse was gone.  She was... She had... No, no, she couldn't.... she couldn't be gone.  He had lost his child.  He had lost the village.  He couldn't lose her.  Not the woman he loved.  Not the only thing he had left in this world.  
  
No, no, he couldn't... His hands were coming up to grab his head... she couldn't... she couldn't be... she can't be dead.  
  
His throat seized, air drawing in as every ounce of his body felt sorrow and horror and regret and loss and... he was about to let it all out with one harrowing scream.  
  
Megatron finally felt the anguish break, his voice starting to rise as a horrible sound began to escape his throat...  
  
...But it was quickly drowned out as two people's heads suddenly emerged from the lake, coughing and sputtering.  
  
The next few seconds were very quick as Rodimus and Eclipse appeared from the depths of the lake.  But to Megatron, it was a very long time as his body tried to comprehend what had happened.  
  
At first, no one could do anything as the two bounced up from the water, nearly flopping under as they struggled to stay afloat.  But as they desperately kicked to keep their heads up, Ultra Magnus and Shockwave quickly moved.  Both warriors ran into the water, nearly chest deep as they grabbed the two struggling swimmers to pull them in.  Bombrush, having still been stunned at the sight of the two suddenly showing up, quickly ran in to help Ultra Magnus pull the exhausted leader ashore.  He was much heavier with armor and damp clothes pulling him down.  Shockwave merely had to throw the smaller and lighter Eclipse over his shoulder to bring her in, the cold having already reduced her to a shivering, shaking mess.  Her feet alone were unnaturally bluish pale as Shockwave quickly walked past Megatron to the beach.  
  
It was only the sight of his wife's blue lips still moving and breathing that caused the leader to finally get off his knees and follow the group further into land.  
  
"Get their clothes off.  Get them off quickly."  
  
"Bombrush, if I can borrow your other knife-"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Fuck~ing... cold..."  
  
Megatron couldn't move as the three quickly stripped the other two of their wet clothing and armor.  Rodimus held himself as Bombrush removed his outer cloak to give to the shivering man who was covered by absolutely nothing.  
  
"Leader."  
  
He finally turned to Shockwave as the other lifted a hand up to place on his shoulder.  
  
"Leader, you're the only one left with a dry cloak."  
  
It quickly dawned on him what the other was saying.  And that his wife was curled up on the ground with nothing on.  
  
He had his cloak on her before he could even comprehend taking it off.  Eclipse's shivering body underneath the cloak under his own hands made his blood freeze.  
  
Oh Primus... oh Primus, he had nearly lost her.  
  
"We need to get them someplace warmer.  Magnus, help Rodimus up.  Shockwave, bring Eclipse up.  I'll get someplace ready and warm to put them."  
  
"Get Knock Out," Shockwave responded.  
  
"And also send for First Aid," Ultra Magnus added, "We will need her as well."  
  
"Done," and Bombrush was sluggishly making his way up the hill as fast as he could.  
  
Magnus was already helping up Rodimus, picking up his wet clothes as he helped the other hobble over to the path back.  
  
Shockwave moved to pick her up when Megatron stopped him.  "Lead-?"  
  
"I'll take her."  
  
The smaller man didn't even need to say anything.  With a nod, he allowed Megatron to bring up his wife into a brides hold.  And he quickly followed after him with Eclipse's wet clothes in his arms.

* * *

It was so warm.  Eclipse didn't remember falling asleep.  And under so many blankets and furs.  
  
She was about to fall back to sleep when voices woke her conscious further.  Stirring just a bit, she cracked her eyes open only for light to enter her dark vision.  
  
"She seems to be alright, but I can only say that for her body.  Her mind-"  
  
"What about her mind?"  
  
"Well... How do I put this...? Considering Magnus's and Pretty Boy's account of what happened before they got there..."  
  
"Isn't there something that can be done for her?" so many people talking, who was in her house?  
  
"...I don't know.  I can't even begin to think of how to deal with someone like Eclipse trying to... well, after everything that happened."  
  
"Knock Out," so if that high pitched voice was their medicine men, then this had to be... Bombrush? "You've dealt with mothers who have had stillborn and... other things.  Wasn't there something you did to help ease the pain?"  
  
Silence.  It made Eclipse afraid to open her eyes.  
  
"I... I've tried, but... no one but a mother could begin to understand what they've gone through.  Some healed on their own or with their loved ones' help or with time.  Some required... means to ease the pain.  But even some of the ones I had tried to help still made attempts.  And some did succeed."  
  
"Surely you have some sort of... advice or remedy that could help Eclipse?  Something Megatron could do?"  
  
"...Bombrush.  This is unlike any of the cases I have seen.  It... Eclipse has lost so much because of all that happened.  Perhaps she may have lost her mind as well-"  
  
"You would be wise to word your words more carefully."  
  
Mind clearer than before, Eclipse recognized her husband's voice.  Her eyes cracked open further, letting her see that the three men were sitting on the other side of the hut.  
  
"Megatron, this isn't the-"  
  
"I'm sorry, Leader.  I wish I could say that Eclipse was well and provide a means to help her recover, but... I have no remedy to cure someone of the urge to end their own life."  
  
Life?  End it herself?  What was Knock Out-?  
  
She suddenly remembered the lake.  Her child.  The water.  Someone trying to pull her back.  Going under and-  
  
Oh Primus... Oh Primus, what... what had she done?  
  
She had closed her eyes, her lower lip falling open and quivering as she struggled to understand what she had nearly done.  
  
"Knock Out-"  
  
"Megatron... I'm sorry.  I can only suggest you keep her comfortable and keep an eye on her.  I could try to find and ask women who have lost a child for help, but... we did lose many after Nemesis's attack."  
  
Eclipse was only listening, still curling up on herself as she struggled to accept her actions and what she had nearly done.  
  
"Which is why Shockwave and I had them disciplined instead of being executed for failing to watch her."  
  
"Will," Megatron, oh Sweet Primus, he sounded so broken, "Will she get better?"  
  
"... Hard to say, Megatron, I can only tell you if her body is healthy or not.  Whatever is going on in her mind... I am no magic man that can read other's thoughts, so I have no idea if Eclipse still wants to-"  
  
"Get out."  
  
"Umm... L-Leader?"  
  
"Get out.  Your services are no longer required."  
  
Eclipse didn't even open her eyes, still remaining tightly curled up as she heard the medicine man stand.  
  
"O-Of course.  I must get back to my other patients."  
  
Footsteps marked his departure.  
  
"Bombrush,"  
  
"Yes, Megatron?"  
  
"Where are the two guards who were watching my wife this evening?"  
  
"...They are currently recovering from today's punishment-"  
  
"Wake them up and resume their punishment until high noon tomorrow."  
  
"But... But they've already been through enough the past day and-"  
  
"Wake.  Them.  UP."  
  
"Of course.  Is there anything else you would like me to do while I'm out?"  
  
"...Just reports from the men as usual.  And send a young one to Rodimus's camp for an update on the boy's condition."  
  
"I had heard his cold was getting better sometime before I came."  
  
"Good.  You're dismissed."  
  
More silence, this one longer than Knock Out's before footsteps to indicate the other had left.  Which left just her and Megatron in the hut.  
  
Eclipse at this point was collapsing on herself.  She had tried to kill herself.   _She had tried to kill herself._ Primus, she was so stupid.  So stupid.  She couldn't even do that right.  And now-  
  
People were worried about her.  Those poor guards were being punished because of her.  And- Oh Primus, the other tribe leader… Rodimus Prime… he had saved her.  He had gone into the water to save her and she-she almost killed him.  Almost drowned him with her.  
  
So stupid, so stupid.  Megatron was sure to be mad with her.  To do something so stupid and to fail miserably at it.  And to leave him the shame of a wife who tried to end her own life.  He wouldn't want her, a weak woman and unworthy mother, as a wife.  
  
Creaking alerted her to Megatron moving.  Finally opening her eyes, she made out his back as he stood up.  Her eyes shut close again, hearing him step closer and closer to her as she lay there. She could feel him get closer and closer, his footsteps becoming clearer as he moved next to her.  
  
She tensed when she felt him kneel down in front of her. Oh Primus... He was angry. He was furious. He probably wanted to beat her for trying to leave him like that... He had been so close to attacking her that one time when she went to see him after losing the village. But now...  
  
"Eclipse."  
  
That low, dark voice almost made her wet herself. It took all of her will power to stay still and not tremble. Maybe if she still pretended to be sleeping. Maybe he wouldn't wake her... Unless he was going to slap her awake.  
  
She suddenly felt fingers against her hair and tensed. But nothing happened. All she could feel was his fingers running gently through her hair, fingertips occasionally touching her skin.   
  
This... wasn't anger.  This was concern, worry, caring... Megatron's fingers never moved to harm her, just gently combing through her messy hair and stroking her face.  
  
She couldn't take this.  She didn't deserve this.  
  
It happened almost immediately as Eclipse's body began to shake, her tears suddenly running through her shut eyes as sobs left her quivering mouth.  
  
The hand on her head flinched away as if it had been burned, "Eclipse?  Eclipse?!"  
  
Primus, what was he doing?  She could feel his hands trying to reach for her shoulders, trying to comfort her as she kept pulling away from him.  He should have just left her to weep or have struck her to silence her.  Why was he-?  
  
"Eclipse?!  What's wrong?  Eclipse, speak to me!  Please speak to-!"  
  
Unable to bare the anguish in his voice, Eclipse tried to pull away from him, pushing up her weak body from the hay and fur and blankets as she tried to get away.  Away where, she didn't know, she just wanted to get away from here where she didn't deserve to be.  With a man she didn't deserve to have as her husband.  
  
Megatron thought differently.  Just as Eclipse managed to sit up and pull herself out of the numerous materials keeping her naked body warm, he practically pounced on her.  Strong arms encircled her as her bare upper body was pressed into his dirty armor.  
  
"Eclipse!  Eclipse, stop-!  Stop!"  
  
She couldn't.  She had to get away from him.  She had to go.  Her irrational mind just kept pushing her body to run.  Where, she didn't know, but just away from there.  And with Megatron holding her back, she fought hard to break free.  
  
The woman pulled her arms out of his grip, clawing at the hut's ground as she tried to pull herself away.  His arm let go of her to try and pull her hands out with desperation, his own body trying to pin her to the floor to stop her.  But she relented, bringing up one arm to push back at his shoulder as she tried even harder to slip out of his hold around her waist.  
  
"Ec-! Eclipse!  Stop!  Damn it, just stop-!"  
  
"Gah!" She cried out as he brought his arm around her upper body to pull her back to him, but she pushed and pushed managing to get some of her lower body more out of the blankets as she pushed her knees up.  She managed to put more space between their bodies as her fingernails dug into the hut's floor, pulling her away from him inch by inch.  
  
"Stop!  Eclipse, please!  Don't-!"  
  
Eclipse wouldn't stop.  She pulled and pulled, bring up a knee to his chest plate as her other hand came up to claw her further out of his reach.  
  
"No-!"  
  
She was almost out.  A foot at his shoulder as his hands grabbed at her thighs and calves, desperate for a good grasp.  
  
"Eclipse!"  
  
His grasp on her ankle was starting to slip.  She was almost out from under him.  If she could just get a footing, she could run.  She could - almost - feel his fingers slipping around her ankle.  
  
"No, no, NO!"  
  
She was out.  She could run.  Anywhere.  To the lake.  Deep into the forest.  Not here.  Not where she didn't belong.  She just had to run-  
  
"NO, NO!!  DON'T LEAVE ME!"  
  
Just as she got to her knees, ready to sprint off towards the door, Megatron tackled her, slamming them into the floor as the hut shook around them.  His attack nearly took the breath out of her as his arms scrambled and grabbed to hold her tight again.  
  
"No, no, let me go.  Let me go!  Let me go, please!"  
  
But Megatron wouldn't. If anything, his grip tightened around her, nearly crushing her against his chest. He forced them both to sit up, keeping her in his lap as he held her tightly, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other around her upper body, clenching down hard onto her shoulder as he kept her against his chest.   
  
"N-NO! NO! LET GO!"  
  
Eclipse gripped at arms, trying to pull them off as she struggled violently to get off his lap. But her struggle was in vain as every time she tried to move, Megatron just held her tighter to him, the grip becoming more and more painful as his armor was starting to press hard into her skin. No... No! She couldn't let him do this! She didn't deserve him! He deserved so much better - she wasn't worthy! She didn't want to be here anymore!  
  
"PLEASE!"  
  
"No..."  
  
"PLEASE!  LET ME GO!"  
  
"No~" his voice cracked.  
  
"NO! LET! ME! GOOO!!!"  
  
"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!!!"  
  
His voice boomed, filling the entire hut and causing her body to freeze.  Her fist rested against his cold armor as it shook-!  
  
Was... Megatron shivering?  
  
"You can't go.  You can't leave me."  
  
His commanding voice suddenly turned soft, his arms still shaking as they pulled her closer until her head rested against his shoulder.  
  
"I can't lose you... I can't lose you, you can't leave me again.  I can't... I can't lose-" his words broke off into mutters as his face buried itself into her matted and tangled hair.  
  
Can't... lose her.  But...  
  
"Why?"  
  
He pulled back only a bit to look at her.  
  
"Why?" Hot, salty tears poured down her cheeks as her breath hitched and broke, "Why... Why me?  I'm... worthless.  A dis-disgrace.  I let our baby die.  I-*hic* I let our baby die..."  
  
Her head slumped forward to lay against his shoulder again as her tears began to fall to the floor.  
  
"I even tried to kill myself...  And I *cough* nearly... I nearly k-... killed Rodimus.  I almost killed that poor boy."  
  
"You're not worthless," he growled out, his arms tightening around her. Primus just hearing her say that... It made him sick with rage.   
  
"B-But I-"  
  
" _Even if you were, I can't lose you!_ "  
  
The sudden shout frightened her, causing her to stiffen in his grip when she felt him breathe hard against her back. Oh Primus... Oh Primus, she had done it now-  
  
"I can't lose you..." he repeated, his voice dropping and startling her. What was...? Megatron ever sounded like this. Never this low or quiet or sad... Almost as if he were full of anguish and sorrow... It was haunting, making her shiver a bit in his grip.  
  
"I can't... I need you... I... we already lost our child... because of that _fucking_ bastard..." He buried his face into her hair, hands shaking slightly. And to think he had almost lost her too... He felt like his heart had stopped beating at the very thought. "I can't lose you too. I love you, Eclipse... And if I lost you as well... I couldn't. I just... I couldn't."   
  
Shivering as his body shook and clung to hers, Eclipse let her husband hold her.  She... She didn't want to believe he was actually saying this.  That he wanted her still even after her failures.  He was Megatron, one of the strongest Viking warriors around, proud and fierce and not one to have weak and spineless individuals by his side.  
  
He couldn't... he couldn't want someone as weak as her.  A coward who would try to end her own life.  He couldn't... He couldn't...  
  
She didn't resist him any further as he held her there for a long time.  She mostly ignored her surroundings, even the two new guards who had come by after all the noise had calm down.  Soon after Megatron dismissed them, she didn't do much as he carried her back to her mat and laid her down to rest again, covering her with all those furs and blankets again.  
  
Eclipse still watched in disbelief as Megatron undid his armor and other clothes, changing into a spare and clean tunic before joining her, his arms’ grip tight and firm as he pulled her to him once again.  
  
She was so tired... so much in fact that her eyes began to droop even though her body was having trouble relaxing in the arms of her husband.  Slowly, her body began to unstiffen as sleep finally consumed her.  
  
Her last memory for that night was Megatron kissing her forehead before curling up next to her.  
  
If he had fallen asleep before her, she didn't know.  All she did know was that she sleep peacefully that night in her love's arms.


End file.
